OMGTV: 48 Hours on QVC in 4 days! Apologies in advance…

This was Soooooo dangerous

This was Soooooo dangerous

So here I am, back from China.  It was utterly fantastic and I promise to do a final post about the last part of the trip, which included Harley Davidsons, hiking down a cliff/up a mountain and Far East Electronics. 

Right now, though, something more pressing beckons…

In fact, I am actually rather apprehensive about it….

…AAArrrgh!!! what’s that coming over the hill?  It’s one of the most insane televisual tortures ever invented – lurking for 24 hours at a time – known as the TSV or Todays Special Value on QVC, this is the multiple-appearance-required featured-low-price-item repeated throughout the day from 0000 the night before to 2330 the night after. 

I tremble mentally at the thought, and by the end of the night I may well tremble physically from caffeine overuse.  Yes, Starbucks et al, rub your collective hands in glee as another addict publicly falls off the wagon with dismal regularity*.

This strange and barbaric practice requires complete and utter knowledge about one’s chosen consumer electronics product, combined with an ability to cope with sustained sleep deprivation and an unreasonable determination to get to the end of the day without a) saying something inaccurate on air, b) falling over and/or breaking stuff on air or c) swearing and/or stripping off on air.  Needless to say, some manage it, and some don’t.  The ones who don’t tend to end up on youtube**. 

Do I look like this? Srsly?

Do I look like this? Srsly?

Yes, dear reader, it’s not just one TSV I’ve been booked for on the 27th July, but two – the second being on the 31st.  Thank goodness the products are nice techy ones, I’ll sneak some piccies on once the embargo is lifted.

So, until midnight on the 27th (i.e. Saturday night) I’m gonna get my head down and study hard.  I will not watch any telly, I will certainly not attend any parties, and I’m definitely not going to do anything non-TSV related…

…Although I am accidentally holding in my paws front row tix for Batman on Friday at a very big cinema.  Yes, I think it’s important for my research that I attend this movie for observational and research purposes.

 

*Double Tall Wet Skinny Latte please.  I fall off the caffeine wagon every morning when I realise there’s milk and tea in the house, then I imagine the sound the kettle makes when it switches on.  This generally happens before my eyes are open.

**Yes, of course there’s a clip I’m thinking of.   If you want to see it, leave a comment and I may be persuaded to post the offending link.

from Clunk to Funk – Cisco Re-invent the Router

super routerI was absolutely fascinated the day I went to see Linksys/Cisco launch their new router.  After failing to get there on time due to 

1) not leaving on time – my fault,

2) getting off at Paddington Station instead of Lancaster Gate   – also my fault    and 

3) realising that there are, in fact, no less than 3 different Craven Hill Gardens dotted around a 100m radius   – hmm, possibly not my fault that London is a ridiculous maze designed to rob anyone of their navigational ability and/or their will to live…

– but, let’s face it, it’s probably my fault for not knowing that in advance and planning for it accordingly. 

from brain to paperNo matter; I turned up late, frazzled and thinking how on earth I’d be able to write something interesting about a new router, after all, if you have broadband, you probably know all about routers, boring boring boring snore.

But no! Wake up!!  Thank goodness this wasn’t a crusty presentation about connecting your laptop up to the “Interweb” and the wonders of wireless networking.  After all, it turns out most of us do that anyway, and we don’t need to be told about it – in fact, a recent YouGov poll showed that 54% of UK women who were surveyed were already surfing wirelessly, gaming wirelessly and printer-sharing (oh yeah, baby, we’re officially living in the digital age).

Instead, we were told the story of how a new router design was formulated, including making it work better without those big aerials – paralleling the disappearance of mobile phone antennae – and (mynearly there favourite part of the presentation) being treated to a sneak peek at concept sketches, the sort of thing consumers never get to see…  asking nicely resulted in being provided with a couple of these pics to show on the blog!

I don’t think I realised just how much work is involved in re-designing a device that already exists – and I’ve been working in the tech and gadget industry for years.

Yes, the electronics business has finally realised that us tech consumers are getting more savvy – we realise that something can look good and work properly at the same time – it’s the i-concept we’re locking in to and Linksys/Cisco have fully commited to this with their new router.  Here’s hoping that the trend for making functional things look good will continue to roll out across the industry – after all, the technology is finally around to back up the aesthetics, and I, for one, will welcome the change.

By the way, there’s some new software called LELA that comes with this router – it’s also been developed to be more intuitive… I’ll get to play with that in a few weeks’ time, and report back accordingly. 

 

Well, I’m off to China soon, hopefully I’ll be able to update this blog whilst I’m there – depending on whether I can get a sim card with data, I may even be able to Flickr some pics onto the web using Shozu, recommended by my nokia-picture-blogging pal BlackPhoebe– it’s exciting and daunting at the same time – can’t wait.

Until I go away, though, there’s a completely bonkers schedule to wade through… I’ve got a packed out telly-heavy weekend, with a selection of choice graveyard shifts ranging from midnight Friday night through to midnight Saturday night (and a few in between to guarantee the desired amount of sleep deprivation).  

Happily, I’ll be arriving at QVC in good time for the shows, as

 1) I’ll leave in good time,

2) I’ll get off at the correct station, and not somewhere miles away, and

3) I’ve been to QVC UK about a bazillion times before, so it would be really, really dense to end up at the wrong QVC even though there are a few different studios (like the one in Philadelphia, USA, for example),

– but,let’s face it, anyone could mix up “flight BA169” with “district line”, after all, they almost rhyme…

24 Hours on TV

I have no time at the moment! So I’ve decided to “do less”, which is a new one on me, brought about by a schedule that was crazy last week even by my standards.  Just to give you an idea of how busy I’ve been, there are still 3 unwatched episodes of Battlestar Galactica on my box.  I’ve reproduced Friday/ Saturday here:

Friday 1400 – get ready for TV marathon- that includes the incredibly dull and non-glamorous stuff like washing hair, doing nails, choosing outfits, making sure I have all my kit, checking specifications, and confirming the hotel is booked and the staff won’t be freaked out that you’ll be turning up at 2am looking half-mad and slathered in heavy make up. (NB: It turns out that if you call in advance and let reception know that you’ll be turning up at 2am looking half-mad etc, you are 78% more likely to be admitted.)

Friday / Saturday midnight to 0200 – go on telly.  There is an odd thought that sometimes hits me when I do the late shift, which is this: I know for a fact that the vast majority of people are going out on the town, dancing, eating, messing up their hair, or definitely not working – I can’t remember the last Saturday night I’ve not worked! Prior to doing the TV stuff, I used to gig in a band from Thursdays to Sundays – weekends were work even then… but I love having Mondays off.

Saturday 0830 – wake up ravenous and driven slightly bonkers by lack of sleep mixed with adrenalin from being on TV – yes, even after 8 years on the telly,  I still get quite excited.  Must. Eat. Now.  I suffer from “angry hungry” if I’m not fed, especially in the morning.

Saturday 0930 – back into QVC to get ready for the next show, including making sure the tech is working and no-one has unplugged/blown up anything whilst I was asleep, which is possible, although unlikely.  I normally also go for breakfast no. 2 at this point.  Must. Eat. Again.  I meet with the producer and the director and we talk about how last night went, what was good, and what could be done better (i.e. what was utterly pointless and needs to be dropped)  – I normally cave in to my first caffeine craving and drink a cup of tea just before going to air.

Saturday 1300 – I’ve presented 2 shows by now, we’re into the swing of things and the afternoon beckons- I’ll be looking at the 1600 and 1800 show, then it’s on to the evening shows at 2000 and 2300.  All the preparation of the weeks before has paid off – I know what I’m talking about, and I know how to talk about it, and of course, I’m used to the voices in my head (producer/director) giving advice and asking questions at the same time as my co-presenter is talking to me on air.  After the 1800 show, I start looking forward to yummy chinese food for dinner, which I normally indulge in between the last two shows of the shift.  

Saturday 1700 – this is where I’m hoping for my second (or third) wind, the frenzied preparation of the days before has finally demanded payback by now – I’ve sold my soul to caffeine, which comes to my rescue, a double latte with an extra shot, no foam.  Although it has to be skimmed milk now, I’m currently on a health kick and saving my “recommended guideline daily amount for Fat” for CHOCOLATE.

Saturday 2015 – just finished my penultimate show – normally the 8pm slot is quite fun.  Everyone knows what they’re doing and we sail through (assuming there’s no technical mayhem).  I bolt from the double doors off to dinner, and stuff my face with the same thing every time* before waddling back to the studio feeling contented and a little too full up.

Saturday 2259 – one more show to go, I’ll get to leave after this, but live TV is broadcast until 2am every night, so I can’t get publicly excited about going off home to bed after 24 hours, because others can’t turn in until much later.  It’s difficult being “De-mob happy” if you’re the only one allowed out.

Saturday 2315 -just finished the last show, all that’s left now is to De-rig.  This includes striking the set (i.e. clearing down the stuff in the studio), sorting out what’s mine and needs to go home, and what belongs to QVC and needs to stay at the studio, before completing the last “once-over” check and leaving at around midnight.

Saturday/Sunday 0125 – I’m finally making my way back home where I’ll attempt some form of make-up removal and hit the pillow square on in a triumph of unconsciousness.  I won’t even unpack until I wake up in the morning.

Normally, this is where I take a break, however, last weekend, I enjoyed the honour of taking part in Food 2.0, a fantastic charity event in which we raise money for Action Against Hunger whilst cooking a 3-course meal at the Cookery School for some incredibly sophisticated judges.  It was just like Masterchef, except with geek. You should have seen the kit people brought with – there were laptops, mobiles and camcorders everywhere.  We could have probably hacked into the Pentagon and/or broadcast to the outer reaches of the universe with the computing power in that kitchen.

Re: Food 2.0 Gulp!! I’ve managed to record 10GB of data!! 10GB!!!  Am not looking forward to wading through that much footage, when I’m pretty certain that the vast majority of it is not very interesting at all… mainly waffling about mushrooms and pastry it seems.  The usual saying in the industry is “Don’t worry, we’ll fix it in post (post production i.e. editing etc)” but I shall soldier on valiantly and post a link once it’s a) done, b) interesting, and c) not 14 hours long.

Well, next posts are imminent, they will be on the Food 2.0 experience, and I’ll be doing a special Archos post as I’ve been getting some techy queries from some viewers, it’s only polite to respond accordingly. 

*Vegetable Ho Fun noodles, no beansprout, no baby corn, no water chestnut, no bamboo shoots, extra tofu and extra chinese mushroom.  Followed by banana fritters.

JVC, QVC, Ironman and Food

I just had a major stint on telly after spending the afternoon at JVC looking at new gadgets and tech.  There’s an incredibly superslim telly (their new flagship telly range) and I’ll try and get pics of other stuff for posting.

Looking forward to chinese for dinner and will be attempting a few words of mandarin, since I’ve now had 4 lessons.  Hopefully I won’t insult anyone – I’ll report back accordingly. 

Iron Man ROCKED, by the way – I and many other blogger types took over the Digital Cinema at Leicester Square and thoroughly relished this inventive, amusing and thank goodness, actually good comic book interpretation.  I haven’t been to a Friday night / First night show at the cinema for ages, it was great – everyone clapped at the good bits and laughed at the funny bits -you get my drift.

By the way, stay till the end – worth the wait!  My friend at JVC (a comic connoisseur) didn’t wait, and he is still annoyed.  Mind you, he gets to play playstation on JVC’s crazy 120″ set up with a £10K projector/lens combo and speakers that are only available in Japan, so don’t feel too bad for him.

Oooh, and here’s a little mini-review of Butlers Wharf Chop-House , which I visited over the weekend.  I’m quite into all this food lark – after submitting the menus for Food 2.0 (will mention more on that soon) I’ve discovered quite a liking for restaurant commentary.  I’m ljrich on Qype if you want to say hello.

Must publish now, craving noodles quite badly.  I shall return anon.

Handling Overload #1 / Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Yes, I wish I knew. 

If you’re a component, it’s easy, you just shut down until someone comes and fixes you, or that’s it, game over.   If you’re more carbon-based than silicon-based, it appears to be a little more complicated.

You see, I’m currently suffering from life overload, and as usual I’m writing a blog with the perverse mindset that trying to make enough sense of the stuff I have to do by sharing with the internet will help in the real world, as I’ll be left with a blog of how to handle overload at the end of this post. 

Am I making any sense?  Of course not.  My brain needs some serious defragmenting.  Perhaps some down-time would be in order….

Forgetting Sarah MarshallThings I have to do #1  I really have to tell you about Forgetting Sarah Marshall, perhaps one of the best films I’ve seen in a long while.  Actual laugh-out-loud funny, along with some very geek-friendly in-jokes that kept the (in this case, geek-filled) cinema in stitches. 

What’s odd about this movie is that I wouldn’t normally go out of my way to see this, even though I enjoyed “Knocked Up” and “40-year-old Virgin” from the same stable.  It’s described as a “romantic disaster movie” in the press kit, which hints at something more than your run-of-the-mill schmooze-fest.

A lot of the time, I’ll walk out of a movie theatre and think “well, that’s another 2 hours out of my life, oh well”, but this was different – my companions and I were rather surprised at just how good the movie was, and even talked about the funny bits over sushi at Satsuma afterward.

The premise is simple: Bloke gets dumped by TV star girlfriend, Bloke gets back on horse (to know which horse, you’ll have to see the film).  Underlying that premise is one thing that’s left out of so many movies these days – a real sense of humour and characters that feel authentic and sincere.  Russell Brand puts on a great performance, and the script is satisfyingly tight – all killer, no filler, boys and girls.  Watch out for some admirably geeky Tshirts too.  In short, I’m quite the evangelist for this one. 

Mooooooooo!Things I don’t have to do #1

Here’s my moo card – I threatened to upload the pic in a previous post.  The back says something about me being from Outer Space, to see if anyone actually reads it…

 

Other things I have to do involve editing up Qype‘s chocolate tasting video at Melt and Firebox‘s mini-movie about some of their gadgets, getting a Virgin gadget project going (hush hush at the mo), and going on QVC this weekend amongst others.

I’ve decided (in my infinite lack of wisdom), to do a Quentin and make this a mini-series of “do’s” instead of one long hard slog.  Dinner is calling, and I made fairy cakes for dessert.  I’m no closer to making sense of my quest to handle overload, but I do think it will be easier to manage on a full stomach.

Back in Blighty – Back to Work

So I’ve finally returned back to the UK, absolutely tired out, and completely and totally culture shocked by the craziness that is Las Vegas and the ridiculousness that was CES.

I found out that there were 2 million square feet of exhibition space of which I probably only managed to get across a fraction- and even then that was with incredibly hard work and very, very, very comfortable shoes.

For now I’m back in the UK – once I’ve finished unpacking and sorting through my email, I’ll be spending time getting ready to talk about JVC’s MG330 HD camcorder on QVC UK . For the purposes of this blog, and for general curiosity, I’ve found out that a) QVC is the biggest electronics retailer in the world, b) Marco Polo House, where the studio is, was named after real broadcasting Satellites in Space and c) the UK arm reaches 21 million households, which explains why people come and chat to me in really odd places like Milton Keynes British Rail Station.

Actually, it’s great fun when people come and say hello most of the time – although I once got recognised at a certain large 24hour supermarket at 3am buying Imodium – that’s the not-so-glamorous side of life in the public eye – “Hi LJ, how are you? Oh, not too well I see” was the gist of that particular conversation.

On the plus side, when I was flown over to QVC in America, where it’s the 5th most watched channel in the States, I went to the mall the day after the show, and someone came up to me and said “Wow, you’re that videogame girl from England!” – that made my week!

So I’ll be broadcasting live for 24 hours on the 27th January and it will feature JVC’s hard drive camcorder that I took around CES with me to Vegas. So that should be quite fun. It’s still quite surreal chatting away to my phone and I really am enjoying this blogging service, it has to be said. SpinVox might even come over and film me doing this which should be even more fun, although I don’t think it will be very telegenic to have SpinVox film me doing what I’m doing right now which, at the moment, is my laundry 🙂

I can’t believe it’s already halfway through January… I’m in the studio with Graham Wood working on some exciting music projects, and this week I’ll pop over after the initial recording session to do what is known in the trade as “Tweakage” – I’ll also be composing a mini ident (that’s about 3 seconds of music) for a digital device, which is always exciting, as I love to take into account the acoustics of the device, and what it looks like before working out what tune it should have!

spoken through SpinVox tweaked by LJ